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Thank you, Ahjumma, ladyusagi, Daiji, just a lady, Francine, and other visitors for leaving messages. It's comforting to know it is not just myself who feels sad. Today I somehow thought of him becoming a star in the sky, like most stories would tell you, and when I was driving to work, while peeking at the blue sky, I want...ed to cry already. I didn't look at the sky since. Every time I look up at the sky, I feel I need to numb myself a bit. I still can't believe he's gone. Tonight, I watched the concert clips that kitty uploaded. It's such a loss. I was watching the performance of ths songかけがえのない人 which means The Irreplacable Person. He is irreplaceable. His smiling eyes and glorious smile have always been charming. And now we could only remember him through those past works. In Hong Kong, once upon a time, there was a very famous singer/actor called Leslie Cheung. Many Koreans know him and he also committed suicide but at the age of 46 and because he was depressed. It was probably his worry of declining popularity with age that caused him to jump to his death from the 24h floor of the Mandarin Hotel. His being gay didn't have anything to do with it. I wasn't his music fan but I watched quite a lot of his movies. That feeling was totally different from this one. Because I wasn't a devout fan, it was a sense of pity. This one is a sense of deep loss. Sigh. Anyway, I don't watch Leslie's works or listen to his work anymore and I hope this would never happen to Park Yong Ha for me. But could you imagine the guts it took to step out of the window to fall 24 stories down. In my recent training, I learnt that strangulation takes 7-15 seconds to a minute to render someone unconscious depending on how much force it took and death ensues in a matter of minutes. Park Yong Ha must have calculated that before. Sorry, this was grisly. And of course, suicide seems to be a way out for most men when everything looks desperate. The suicide rates in Japan and Korea both top the Asian countries in the developed world. See list here. If only Park Yong Ha had some help in his company and financial troubles and if only he had time off to look after his father, he would still have been here. Everyone, don't push yourself so hard. If you need help, do call for help from those near you. Life is too short already. Thanks for listening to me writing on and on.
On the news side, his suicide made it to the front page on the web for even BBC. Wish it were not for his death but for his works. As for the fourth paragraph, I was just reposting what allkpop wrote. I personally haven't seen articles of the co-loans of his own company. I remember translating that his father in the past had co-signed a loan for someone but this news seemed to allude that there is another instance. But in the Chinese news today, it was said that the manager parted way with Park Yong Ha just recently because of disagreement over financial matters. One article said also that the sale of promotional items at the concert incurred a loss. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. He's gone. I just hope the family will survive and these debts would not continue to accrue. The official website in Japan and Twitter are gone already. The news said that Japanese fans could only communicate with each other by phone and their own blogs, very much like what we do here. Estuko and devoted fans must all be hurting too. I only managed to PM kitty, the one who uploads the clips to thank her for her efforts in expanding our knowledge of Park Yong Ha but I don't know how to communicate with Estuko. She doesn't have an email listed. I want to thank her for all that she did for Park Yong Ha all these years. I don't know what will happen to summerface.net, the Chinese forum. There wouldn't be much activity in due course. I'll keep all my Park Yong Ha articles and threads as rememberance of him and for casual surfers who might one day stumble on his work and discover him. They need to know what happened to him. Another article about his depression here.
Posted June 30, 2010: Last night, it took me a while to fall asleep. I was wondering why he killed himself. Perhaps now that he is up there, he would see how many people mourn for him and he would think how stupid it felt to kill himself, and why did he do it. Then this morning, I read the news at allkpop and it mentioned about his financial difficulties. Now that looks more like a plausible motive. Let me repost it here and then add all the Chinese reports from the net. Here is a news report from the police side.
Although several hour have passed since Park Yong Ha’s death, but questions still remained unsolved: what drove Park Yong Ha to commit suicide? Many acquaintances of the actor have all claimed that they do not know the reason of Park Yong Ha’s death, as he’s been acting like normal for the past few days. But it isn’t what it seems beneath the surface.
After further investigations, it’s been revealed that Park Yong Ha has had difficult times because of his ill father. His father has been suffering stomach cancer for a long period of time, and was told recently that it was in a terminal stage. A friend of Park Yong Ha claims, “After learning that his father had cancer, Yong Ha brought his father home and cared for him. He always worried about his father. He also said that he will be focusing on caring for his father for a while.”
Park Yong Ha’s failure in business also seems to be another reason for his suicide. Right before appearing on On Air (drama), he became independent from his ex-agency, and established his own company, with his father as the company’s president. According to a family acquaintance, running the business was not an easy task for them. A manager in the company made a financial mistake after getting various loans, causing the agency a huge loss. To make matters worse, Park Yong Ha’s father was left with a huge debt after mistakenly co-signing someone else’s loan. To contribute to the financial difficulty of the family, Park Yong Ha had even recently consulted a used car dealer to sell his car.
Park Yong Ha was also revealed to have been suffering from insomnia for 14 years, because of depression. He confessed on his Twitter a while back that he had been relying on sleeping pills for a long time, making his fans worry about his health. The actor also shared on a program that his rising fame as a Hallyu star caused him to undergo depression from a sense of shame.
Spokepersons from the hospital and police station have confirmed that no suicide note was left behind. The police have registered it as being an unnatural death and that a variety of reasons (listed above) probably led Park Yong Ha to choose suicide. Upon his family request, no autopsy will be performed and a traditional Buddhist funeral will be held for Park Yong Ha on July 2nd at 8am.
Across the Chinese news, there are the following reports:
- PYH has erased all the messages in his phone before he committed suicide. A few days before he died, he had said to a friend, "Everything in business and life is very difficult. I have to think things through and I'll see you in a few days." Recently, because he was planning on the business, often, he couldn't sleep and had to resort to sleeping pills.
- That night, he went out with his colleagues and he was drunk by the time he got home. At 0.10 am, he was massaging his father and he kept saying, while crying, "I wished I could take up your sickness instead. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Then he went into his room. At 0.30 am, he even texted to his manager, "Drive carefully. If you have drunk too much, then don't drive yourself." At 1.10 a.m, a friend texted him but he didn't reply. At 4.00 a.m., he has texted a junior from a basketball team that he was close to and said, "Really want to die. I'm too tired." He shared the same way of death like the female star who committed suicide last year. Divulged to a friend about wanting to die at night. Spent the time with the family and took his own life. The police said that it is suicide and the press attributed it to work pressure. On his Twitter, let me re translate what it was said after the first concert, "The first concert is completed. Now I plan to rest well. To prepare for the following concerts, I need to sleep well, yet I feel totally chaotic. Last concert tour was successfully completed, so this time, I am a bit worried that it would be lacklustre." In his twitter background, he wrote, "Like others, sometimes I don't understand myself. I can't talk to myself simply." The netizens guessed that PYH seemed to insinuate he has hurt and difficulties that others did not know." The mother found him at 5 am and saw that something was wrong and called 119 at once. But by then, he couldn't be revived. The police estimated the time of his death between 4 - 5.30 am.
- Choi Ji Woo here is in tears and didn't want to be interviewed. She said she felt very sorry. Eugene was shocked and speechless and said she wanted to be left alone. She said that even after breakup, they would meet at friends.Song Seung Hun was at the hospital. Lee Byung Hun went too. Here are pix of all those who went.
- According to some news, it was said that recently, there was sale of his items and there was a loss in intake. Since knowing that his father has terminal cancer, PYH had wanted to spend more time with his father and wanted to take time off but he had to work in Japan. The press speculated that he had felt very pressured not to be popular in his own country and since running his own company, he had been worried as to how to rebuild himself in Korea.
Note: artikel ini saya dapatkan dari Group Yona di facebook.
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